Finding Solace

I tried reaching Adeline but found yet another end. End, not dead end.
Adeline has been a dearest friend and I don't know how we became like this.
She is just one person who will never think any wrong of me and no one shares our oddness as much as the two of us.

The past two months was a tough period for me. It was dark and, was very dark.

I don't find myself telling anyone about my troubles most of the time. In fact, the more serious the problem, the more I won't talk. Maybe it is because most of the time, I am the pillar for my friends and I help them gain positive insights, and so I thought I shall not shake their faith.
But I think that this is also not very right for me, cos sometimes, I ought to let in some tenderness when I need it, cos after all, I am human too.

What happened the past 2 months had permanent effect and was a setback in my life.
I am still grappling with it and am learning as I go along. Learning to trust life, learning to have faith in the midst of darkness and most of all, learning to maintain a positive outlook, although the latter is the most trying of all.

It is funny how life delivers its packages to me in bite-sizes.

The other day, I had an overwhelming wave of anxiety. All the thoughts about having to work and fend for myself, and to provide till I am old and grey, engulfed me.

I told myself not to frighten myself too much, cos many times, I may just be a tad too worrisome.

For now, I juggle with what I have in hand and shall trust that all will work out fine.